I've Stabbed You, Yet You Forgave

The moment I've been made to look like a jerk. Seriously, it felt worst than any shit I've been through before.

Let's just imagine. You hurt a really good friend of yours like firing a rocket launcher towards that person just because of a small tiny whiny matter. Yes. Back to reality, I actually did that. Its so....what the eff lar. And to realise that I've made that good friend of mine upset and pissed, I felt really lost. You're such a nice person, how could I have done it. >< Full of regret and shame, I don't know how am I ever gonna face that person again. He or she would have told me straight into my face, "Buzz off you f***ing asshole!! Undeserving bitch!!"

Well, if that turned out, I wouldn't be writing this in the first place. The reason why I'm writing this is because, he or she didn't do that. That's what I wanna testify. Instead, he or she just have to tell me, "I was pissed, but I didn't want it to ruin our friendship." Those simple, yet meaningful words, crumbled down the walls in my heart. I couldn't react. I was stunned. After all those hurtful things I've done to you, yet you wanted our friendship to stay strong. I couldn't ask for more. TT

This morning, it was an ordinary Sunday, with an ordinary message by the speaker today at church. Forgiveness. I thought to myself, "Cheh...simple stuff only lar. No big deal.". Well, that was until I got myself into the biggest guilt ever. That's when I realised. Forgiveness. Such a simple thing, yet so powerful.

Thank you God. You have always been my guiding light.

Thank you my good friend. You have truly been one. =D

*puffs*

Higuma

Cheer up emo kid.

It's time to let it go. TT

And also time to study. S2 ftw. =)

*puffs*

Retrace by Anberlin

The best band ever. Awesome song.

*puffs*

Tracing Steps

At the end of the semester every year, there's always this one event which everyone...not really everyone, would be anticipating for. Yes. Prom night. Some people would call it ball. At first, couldn't attend it because we were supposed to have a class trip to lang tengah. Everything was so much more straight forward then. Now, it might be postphoned. Thinking about whether to go or not. 125 bucks wei. I'm already broke. TT

Anyway, money is besides the matter. I just lost the mood to go. First time I've felt so disgusted over this kinda stuff. Should I go, just because everyone's going? I doubt I would consider that into my ultimate decision. =)

Prom night. Walking down the street I've once walked. Sigh. Makes me reminisce the time I had during prom night 2 years back. Still can remember the time you went around one utama to look for your dress. Such a pretty silver dress. Did some pretty simple matching so that what I wear matches your dress. It was fun. Haha. And you definitely looked breath-taking that night. =D Thanks yeelian. It was a great night.

Hmmm....after writing all that, I just realised that I've mentioned my point. Haha. This is what I'm looking for. An enjoyable night. Would it be like that? Facts are doubting me, but my heart longs to give it a go. Such dilemma. Sigh.

Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied, broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

*puffs*

PC Fair 2009

Sorry about the late update. I was actually waiting for the right moment to write this out. Hehe.

This year's PC fair was rather interesting for me. First time I did an actual shopping at the PC fair. On the first day, wendy, adrian, li ling, terk chen, chee fai, jin khai and myself went to KLCC to check out what's hot there. The telco companies were spamming their broadband promotions like mad!! Imagine....one hundred people coming at you to ask you to subscribe for their packages. WTHECK seriously. =.="

Wendy got herself a pair of the steelseries iron lady headsets. Its pink wei!! 50 bucks extra for the paint. Hahaha. Nvm lar wendy. As long as you like it, that's all that matters. =D Sigh. Left the place empty handed. So sad.

I went on the second day too. This time, with evan and phwa. My gosh, horrible timing lar the both of you. Make me wait at kl sentral. Haha. Well, after contemplating for half a day, I've bought the steelseries 4H headsets. Good budget seriously. Managed to bargain 10 bucks off. Hehe. While waiting for phwa's dad, we went to the entrance of the petronas philharmonic building. Very nice interiors. Evan just has to bum there. Haha.

A board pointing an arrow towards the concert halls.

Nice chandeliers. =)

On the third day of PC fair, I was there. Yeah. I'm crazy. Who goes to all 3 days? Me. LOL. The crowd yesterday was mad.

Well, I actually bought quite a lot of stuffs. Finally, the "thing" i've been waiting for so long, has arrived into my wide-open arms. Yes. I got a new laptop. YAY!! Pretty good specs for the price I paid. Very satisfied with it now. =D So yeah. I was actually waiting for the laptop so that I could write this post out. XD

Now, busy updating and putting all my stuffs into my laptop. Will take a while till everthing is done.

That's all for now.

*puffs*

Enough Black

Tired of seeing the black page. Makes me feel sleepy. So, I thought I would change the layout a bit. At least its something brighter and cheerful now. People wouldnt get the first impression of me being an emo child now when they see the yellowish-green layout. Sadly, I dont know how to do photo editing and html stuffs. If not, I could put Simca (from air gear manga) as my background. XD

Damnit. I dont know how to describe the sounds of lightning. So here goes. It has been raining heavily for the past few days. Yesterday's bang-bangs of lightning has strucked my desktop's mobo (short for motherboard) . TT So sad. Now, I cant play cs and chat on msn comfortably. All my data might be gone too. Shit. That must not happen seriously. I cant afford to lose all my stuffs which took me loads of hours to download. D=

And yesterday, loss in a futsal tournament. I dont mind losing. But losing because I only get to play for 7 minutes in the first half of the first match out of total 3 matches, is pure bullshit. Paid 14 bucks for it. Equivalent to 2 bucks per min. Great. Reason? The same shit that happened to me back in one of my post about a football tournament. Second time this shit happened. Not letting it happen again.

Yesterday damn unlucky seriously.

Sleepy. What to do? Sleep. =)

*puffs*

Strong Yet Weak

Damn....I've not updated for 2 weeks already. Most of the time I was lazy to type everything out. Haha. Anyway, within the past two weeks, life has been hard on me. So busy with doing work and playing around. Experienced quite a couple of events that has brought my world crashing down to the ground. Most of them are personal. But the one that really hit me like a giant rock being thrown at my face is my results.

Its so bad, that I'm not gonna share it with anyone anymore. "Why did I do so badly this time?" I kept asking myself that question. Its so frustrating to know that I didnt get what I expected after all that working my ass off till there's nothing left of me. Then, to think of the number of papers I'm retaking and the amount of stuffs I gotta study, it really breaks me down. With only 7 weeks left, I gotta study 2 times of whatever I did last time. How lar? I have to make so much sacrifice for this. And its gonna be the toughest challenge ever.

Despite all these, I'm really glad to know that I still have friends that understands. Friends who help me pick up the broken pieces of my life and put them back to wherever they belong to. Friends who carry me back to my feet so that I can continue walking the unexpecting path of life. Friends who help me to focus on my studies and give me motivation to study. I thank you guys for always being there for me.

The past is over. Now, its time to write out a brand new chapter of my life. =)

*puffs*

Just Thinking...

"The rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer."

That's what I always get from people who always wanna advise me but got no other better advise to give me. Well, in my opinion, I believe that its pretty true. The rich already have a large to capital to start off with anything e.g. a new business, investments in land properties, etc. or survive through bad economic recessions such as the one we are all facing now. On the other hand, the poor got almost nothing and its gonna be really difficult for them to survive during the economic recessions. This gives them, not all of them, no choice but to resort to crimes to earn money, thus causing the rate of crimes to increase. Hence, we should becareful nowadays whenever we go out.

Anyway, that's not my point. Besides the rich and the poor, what about the rest of the population like us who are stuck in between the rich and the poor? While the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer, do we continue to get stuck in between them? While most would happily remain comfortable at this status, I wanna give it a try to attain or even get close to the rich status. Hahaha. Easier said than done. Its gonna be tough. Even now, its hard to get enough funds to send me to the uni in Singapore. Gotta apply for scholarships now. My academic achievements, is rather terrible I would say. Hope my swimming career last time could help me. Sigh. Hard to get scholarship also. How lar??

*puffs*